RIP Uncle

You know when your phone rings, you see who’s calling, and you just know it’s not good news? I got that kind of call today. My uncle passed away on December 3, 2018 at his home. His death brings a double layered sadness for me. The house he lived in was a safe zone for me when I was a kid. It was where for 2 months a year I was able to escape my dad and I was allowed to be a kid and have fun. Visiting him as rarely as it was able to happen meant I still got to visit that house and that feeling of sanctuary always passed over me as soon as I crossed the threshold.
He lived alone, his choice, and I never questioned it. He never married, never had his own kids, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t enjoy life, and didn’t love family. He did. I always chose to stay with him when I went to Chicago, because he rarely had visitors because of the neighbourhood the house is in. Me? I never saw anything wrong with the neighbours or the neighbourhood. He had great neighbours, and they checked in on him. Now that might make it look like the rest of my family didn’t care. That couldn’t be further from the truth. I just didn’t let the placement of the house keep me from going there. I’m a bad ass. LOL. It was also as mentioned a place of safety and comfort for me where it wasn’t for anyone else.
He was very much loved by all of his family. And he was ok with them not feeling safe or comfortable enough going there to visit. And if he needed anything family would come running.
Some of my fondest memories with my uncle were watching old movies and tv shows from the 50’s and 60’s on the UHF channels. And sure enough, when I’d visit, we’d inevitably end up watching them even after I was an adult. I’m going to miss him a lot. I’m also going to miss that house. It feels like a part of me died with them. Is that weird?
I can’t write anymore, but I needed to get something out. It’s been such an ugly couple of years. Next year is gonna be better.

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